Scott Means » jujitsu

Shodan.

smeans — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 22:10:45 +0000

I finally did it. I did a quick count, and as far as I can tell I’ve started training in seven different martial arts styles in my life (not counting just auditing a teacher or trying something out for a month or two). In all that time, the closest I got to a black belt was a brown belt I received in Isshin Ryu just before my teacher relocated to Pennsylvania. Every time I’ve gotten close before either I moved, my teacher moved, or something truly bizarre happened (one of my teachers had been having an affair, left his wife, and absconded while owing back rent and tuition to several of his students).

Thursday night I finally managed to earn a black belt, and I’m still tripping about it three days later. My test was delayed three hours, so I didn’t finish testing until 11:15 PM. I couldn’t sleep afterward until 2:00 AM and spontaneously woke up two hours later.

I know that my knowledge today isn’t any better than it was last Sunday, and I know that the belt doesn’t really make any difference in what I do every day, but now when I’m talking to a non-martial artist I can tell them that I have a black belt instead of having to explain exactly where I am in my training. And now I can start teaching what I know to others and really start understanding what it is I’ve been doing for the last four years.

Gaman!

That left a mark.

smeans — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 16:01:45 +0000

So, I’m at class last night, minding my own business. I go to let myself be thrown by this young brown belt, and for some inexplicable reason he knees me in the eye instead. It’s ok, though, I’ve just been telling people that my girlfriend beats me.

If you spend two hours getting thrown around and choked before breakfast…

smeans — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 22:17:44 +0000

the rest of the day really is cake. Getting ready for my test means I’m making as many black belt classes as I can, and it just so happens that today’s class started at 7:00 AM. I did not want to get out of bed at 6:00 AM and drive downtown to get on the mat. But some creative self-delusion works wonders in these cases. The trick is not to think too much about the overall plan. Just roll out of bed, brush your teeth, throw on some clothes and start driving. Put on the gi, roll around a little. Then when the throwing and choking starts, you don’t really have much choice.

“I’m looking for the man who’s forgotten words,

smeans — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 18:19:05 +0000

he’s the guy I want to talk to.” That’s my paraphrasing of one of my favorite Zen koans. Koans are like puzzles that try to snap you out of your rational mind into a state where you can really see and hear what’s happening around you. Like most people, I operate on autopilot most of the time. But I’m hoping that if I start writing more, and reading more, maybe I can actually become aware of what’s going on around me.

Things are very busy in my life right now. My professional life is in flux, and I’m working very hard to get ready for my blackbelt test in Dan Zan Ryu Jujitsu. The test will be in the first week in November, and I’ve had to take CPR courses, first aid courses, an athletic taping course, and even an ethics course (but I’m thinking of skipping that one and just falsifying the documentation). And to be honest, I’m a little scared. I can learn all of the techniques, I can fulfill all of the requirements, but I sometimes hear a little voice inside saying “you’re not good enough”.

The testing board might not like me. They might not think that I have “it”, whatever that is. My uke (the guy I use as a crash-test dummy for my test) might have it in for me and make me look stupid. I might have some kind of brain freeze and just stand there when they call out a technique…

But I won’t think about that. One thing I’m sure of is that if you concentrate on the bad things that can happen, they will happen, guaranteed. Better to visualize myself wearing my new black belt, with a big, dumb grin on my face. That’s much better.